


A little faith

by McLavellan



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Catholicism, Homosexuality, M/M, Religion, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McLavellan/pseuds/McLavellan
Summary: For a place that used to give him such a sense of worth and belonging, it seemed colder than ever. And, really, it had always been cold to begin with, though that had more to do with architecture. Still, church was supposed to bring peace and Sebastian was able to find it here, even if Cullen was not.





	1. A little faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Cullenlovesmen, for having actual faith in this one and encouraging me.
> 
> From the Prompts Madonna and "How did I know I'd find you here?" given by T and Earl.... Oh shit. Earl T. Tea. Grey... Gay. Im....shhhh.

3rd September 2018

For a place that used to give him such a sense of worth and belonging, it seemed colder than ever. And, really, it had always been cold to begin with, though that had more to do with architecture. Still, church was supposed to bring peace and Sebastian was able to find it here, even if Cullen was not.

He tried not to let his eyes linger too long on the stained glass, or the crucifix, or the madonna. Of all of them, she made him feel the worst for some reason. Averting his gaze, he marched onwards.

"How did I know I'd find you here?"

Sebastian tensed, but didn't look up.

Sitting beside him, Cullen kept his eyes to his knees. "I know it's not ideal, but can we try to make the most of a bad situation?"

"A bad situation?" Sebastian asked with a humourless laugh. "Is that what I am to you?”

Cullen sighed, frustrated, leg jiggling as he tried to keep himself from snapping. "That's certainly how you make it feel."

"Oh, so we're talking about feelings? I don't see why; you don't take mine into account."

"And you consider mine?"

They sat in the silence of the empty church.

"Sebastian.... You know how I feel. I know how you fee--"

"No, you don't."

He pulled a calm, deep breath and rubbed his temple. "All I'm saying is... I respect you. And your feelings. I'm not here to make things difficult. I want us to be friends...."

"Just friends?"

Cullen looked away. He wanted more than that, but Sebastian did not. As painful as it was, he had no choice but to respect it, so he nodded.

Sebastian put a hand on his knee and the respect flew out the window, replaced by hope.

"Can you stop shaking your leg like that?"

And like the lights going down at the theatre, his hope was put back in its place.

"Sorry. Nervous habit."

Sebastian looked at him, studied his face unabashedly. "Nervous..?"

“Because..... I know I owe you an apology.”

Sebastian sat straight. Or mostly straight. His head tipped to the side, confused.

“I said some terrible things to you. Assumed the absolute worst of you, even. After I was outed to the church, I thought you were the only one who knew so it must have been you…. I was hurt and angry and I said things I'm not proud of,” Cullen explained. He'd wanted to apologise for so long, but once he'd unleashed his wrath on the man, it was hard to get near him again, especially alone. Faggot baiter was one term that had surprised even himself. The rest had largely been tearful accusations of how evil, how disgustingly cruel the man was. Even if Sebastian felt that being queer was worse than those things, that was his own issue. Cullen had wanted to at least apologise for exploding at an innocent man the way he had.

“Oh. I… Thank you, Cullen. Really.”

A moment passed where both men tried to find the words they needed to say, but failing. 

"I just wanted to invite you to dinner. I... don't want you to be alone." He reached out to put a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder but stopped short. "Alright. I'll be at the hotel bar, anyway.”

 

\---

 

An hour passed in faint hope. The second in his own foolish loneliness. But just as he entered the restaurant, giving in to his hunger, he saw Sebastian.

He turned on his heel when--

"Cullen. Wait."

He looked over his shoulder and Sebastian waved him over - yet he couldn't move right away. He stared instead, slowly relaxing, summoning a smile to his face.

"It’s alright. You don't have to."

"I was waiting, actually. I sent a message to the bar. Sorry. I should have just asked you but I didn't know if you'd want to pretend to ignore it and. Oh... Sh- you don't have to join me. I just."

Despite himself, Cullen laughed. "I'd love to. Thank you.”

Dinner passed awkwardly at first, but a glass of wine and starter in, they began to warm up from the cold stone of church into something a little more amicable.

"Sorry about before,” Cullen said over the top of his glass. "I haven't been inside a church in a while.”

Sebastian nodded, looking down at the table. "Aren't you afraid?" he asked, suddenly.

"Of being struck by lighting? Or hell?"

Cullen felt a little guilty at the tut from the man across from him and went to speak again but was beaten to it.

"Of... feeling alone? Isn't it lonely?"

Surprised, Cullen tilted his head at Sebastian, thinking. "At first, I guess. But... It’s opened doors. I can't explain it. But I... hated feeling like I was in a prison - but was innocent," he stuck up a hand to silence Sebastian. "If there is a god, I'd like to think that God could and would love us for the love in our hearts, not... Because of who we gave that love to.”

Sebastian was staring ahead, looking pained still, and Cullen felt the crushing weight of a bad decision.

“So church is a prison?”

“More like a prison guard,” Cullen grimaced. “There are churches out there that accept it. Me. The… being…..”

“Gay.”

“Bisexual,” Cullen shrugged. Then laughed at the hopelessly lost look on Sebastian's face. “Sorry. Let's just go with Queer?”

“Isn't that… Offensive?”

The innocence and hushed tone with which it was said melted Cullen a little.

“To some people. I guess. To be honest, they never really gave me a manual or… guide. I can't even rely on Tumblr anymore.”

Sebastian let his confusion slide this time and shook his head. After that, and another glass of wine, they began to sink into a safer, friendlier space, letting the past fade, forgotten.

\---

"This is divine," Cullen moaned, tucking into his main. "You need to try it."

Sebastian wanted to berate him for his choice of words but reached out with his fork. Cullen had already made an effort with him; he ought to relax and enjoy himself. He took the offered meat, oozing with a rich sauce, and found himself moaning around it.

"Good. But _you_ need to try this fish." He stabbed a little onto his fork and held it out.

Cullen hesitated for half a second before leaning forward and taking it into his mouth, giving Sebastian no chance to regret his actions.

By dessert they were glowing with wine and good humour.

"What time is it? We've been here so long."

"Only 10," Cullen smiled, checking his watch, "the night is still young and... we sort of are, too."

Sebastian's laugh was tired, but the sparkle in his eye suggested he wasn't ready to go home just yet.

"Come on. We're in a new town, we don't know anyone. Let's go make idiots of ourselves?"

"Oh, you make it sound so tempting!" Sebastian teased. He sipped his wine, thinking... Nodding.

Cullen's heart skipped a beat, and he reminded himself that their kiss - that small, innocent kiss at the Christmas party last year - was nothing to Sebastian but some deep rooted pain. Cullen wanted a lover, but Sebastian needed a friend.

"I saw a not-entirely-seedy looking bar up the road.”

"You're absolutely winning me over. Not entirely seedy? It sounds lovely," Sebastian mumbled, tongue loosened by the wine and company. He even bashed his shoulder against Cullen's warmly, the way he used to before he'd come to fear his actions.

It was cool outside, and Sebastian shivered. Without thinking, Cullen shrugged off his jacket and popped it over the man's shoulders. He missed the look on Sebastian's face; the confusion, the worry, the warmth. He strolled onwards, talking away about nothing until they reached the bar where he held the door open. Sebastian entered first and Cullen swung in, straight into him.

"Seb," he laughed, "shift.”

Sebastian stood frozen for a few solid seconds before spinning round and pushing past Cullen. As Cullen made an attempt to follow, his jacket was thrown at his face.

"Sebastian!"

"Don't."

They stood on the street, staring at one another. The anger on Sebastian’s face looking as if it might threaten to burn hotter than the fires of hell itself.

"Did you think that was funny? You can't have thought it was appropriate!"

"What?"

"A gay bar?”

Cullen felt like he was in church. Everything was cold and hard, the colours muted. He looked back, mind reeling. "I-- I didn't know. I. How was I supposed to know?! Seb, please... Please..."

The anger was dissipating to disappointment, which stung more. But then there was a twitch, a shake of the head, and the Scot laughed.

Cullen stuttered and stumbled, trying to catch on to the sudden, secret joke.

“Did you even look at the name?”

He looked back, above the doorway. “Ah.”

The Manhole. There was no pretending it was the favoured spot for road workers. No, it was for sweaty men of another nature. The words were lit in stage lights and the sign didn't bear looking at.

“I, um. I didn't see that. Wasn't lit up earlier… Shit, Seb, I'm sorry.”

“It’s alright, I believe you. But, you know, I want to be supportive so… if you want to?”

It was Cullen's turn to laugh as he shook his head. Madonna was blaring out from behind them, lights flashing frantically, bodies crushed close together. “Absolutely not.”

“Really,” Seb insisted, nervously. “I…. Don't mind seeing it. Understanding it.”

Cullen turned a little red in the face, thinking back to his days of clubbing in gay bars. Getting Sebastian out at all was a feat in itself, this would be overkill.

“Baby steps,” he said, nodding further up the road.

Instead they found a quiet bar where their nerves and fears were forgotten, and it felt exactly as it used to. It was a double edged sword for Cullen; he missed his friend desperately, but having his company once more reminded him only of what had made their kiss so wonderful. The thought of falling in love with his friend. It had lasted all of two seconds before Sebastian had pulled away and become distant. Cullen swallowed those thoughts down and locked them away.

Drinks drunk and the evening enjoyed, they strolled leisurely back to the hotel, stopping briefly to shake their heads at the madness of the Manhole.

“I really enjoyed tonight.”

Sebastian looked up, cheeks red with booze, smiling. “Me too. We should do it again.”

Cullen felt his palms sweat like a boy after his first date. He had Sebastian so close, he couldn't bear to ruin it again. “Sure. Get some of the lads out from the office.”

There was a strange look that crossed Sebastian's face and Cullen felt his heart sinking.

“Or dinner, just us again,” he suggested, to Cullen's surprise. “But, we can make our plans later. For now…. I need to sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Cullen smiled, a little more faith that tomorrow's presentation would be a lot less stiff than he was right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is.... Is that it?
> 
> No. I don't let sleeping dogs lie. There'll be a Christmas special, don't you worry.


	2. The Kiss of Christmas Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kiss that began it all.  
> Set the Christmas before chapter one.

20th December 2017

Cullen had escaped to the smoking deck. The air was bitterly cold, enough to burn his lungs a little when he breathed. So he used his usual excuse of social pressures and alcohol and lit the cigarette he'd scavenged from a coworker, chosing to ignore the fact that he'd been aware enough while sober to buy a lighter, just for this purpose.

The party was in the office, as per usual, but that at least meant he knew the places to escape to when the place got too crowded for him. 

He took a long, slow drag, eyes closing as he exhaled, smoke blowing in clouds with his breath in the cold air. He half expected the little them to burst into snow. 

"Hey, farm boy," came his favourite voice in this hell hole.

"Well, if it isn't the Prince of paperwork. Sebastian. C'mere." Cullen waved him over, taking the drink that was offered.

"Saw you escaping," Sebastian sighed, taking the cigarette from between Cullen's lips. "You quit."

"I'm a social smoker," Cullen argued, snatching it back. "Shouldn't you be up there with Karen from accounting?”

"Ah. Yes. Karen."

Cullen took another drag, smirking. "What was it this time?"

"She, uh, she..... Wanted more than I was willing to give, I guess."

"She gave Rylen a BJ at the last christmas party. Maybe you should have waited before calling things off."

Sebastian stood beside Cullen, leaning back against the wall, and elbowed him. "Don't be gross."

"Its true."

"You don't have to talk about it."

Cullen looked to his friend, his dopey, drunk smile becoming fond. "Man, I love you Seb. But you're too nice sometimes."

"Not sure everyone agrees," Sebastian sighed. 

Cullen laughed, a hearty, chest heaving laugh. "You really went off about those figures yesterday. Maybe a BJ would get rid of some of that tension."

"Maybe people doing their bloody jobs right would get rid of some of that tension. Anyway, what about you?”

Cullen gulped down his beer, nervously. He tried to cover his hesitation with that, then the cigarette, then scratching the stubble on his chin. There was no way in heaven or hell Sebastian was asking him for a blowjob. Right? "What about me, what?" he asked cautiously.

Seb shrugged, arm resting back against Cullen's. "Heard you were seeing someone. On the sly."

"Ah. Yeah. Not since November. It went a bit south, I guess..."

"Mm," Sebastian nodded. "How come you never talked about her?"

Cullen laughed. He could imagine that conversation. Had done, many times. _Hey Sebastian, I've been seeing the plumber for the last two weeks. The pornos aren't that wrong._

Goodbye friend, goodbye reputation, goodbye church, goodbye job probably..... Respectability. It was easier being closeted when he was younger because most people were. You could be gay if you had money and fame. Now  _anyone_ could be out and loud and proud. Except for these little pockets of unhappiness. Religion, culture, work, whatever it was getting in the way.

"It wasn't serious. Not worth mentioning.”

Sebastian shifted. Cullen laughed, dryly. They'd been here before. **The talk** was coming.....

"It's just that... When you were with Meredith...."

"I know. I know. I _do_. But that whole thing was messed up and I'm better out of it."

"I'm not arguing with you there. She was insane. But you just.... Always seem to be alone. And then it comes out you've been seeing someone and not talking about it and it all just seems..... Sordid."

Cullen sipped his beer. "Only sometimes," he joked. "If I ask nicely enough. But, Seb. Really. You don't have to worry. At least not about me. I still have time to settle down. But you?" he lifted his arm and stroked back a few of the greys at Sebastians temple, then put his arm over the man's shoulders. If he ever came out, he'd never have this again. The harmless, tender touches he craved and could never manage to get from a lover.

"I'm married to the job," Sebastian smirked.

"Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your wife keeps fucking us all."

Sebastian elbowed him again, laughing this time.

Cullen stubbed out the cigarette and threw the butt into bin, watching the black sky above, stars lost behind the light pollution of the city.

"You joke about me being a farm boy, but if you'd ever seen they night skies I have..." he breathed out, dreamily. "Absolutely beautiful."

Sebastian's head dropped to his shoulder.  "Save me from the city sometime. Take me there...."

Cullen laughed, softly, resting his cheek against Sebastian's hair, dreaming of a cottage and dogs and someone to love like Sebastian.

"You'd hate it. The smell. The noise."

"I'm sure you'd make it bearable," Sebastian said quietly, shivering. "Can we go back in now? Are you ready?"

Cullen stood up straight, breaking free of his fantasy, reminding himself that Sebastian was straight and devoted and determined. "How about a compromise? Tim's Office."

Frowning, Sebastian looked at him. "Why Tim's?"

"I know where he keeps the chocolate hobnobs.”

They'd spoken about Cullens past once and only once. It was enough for Sebastian to allow him to get away from uncomfortable situations. It was, to be fair, usually just the claustrophobia. His other fears were things so far detached from the man that they rarely came up. So Sebastian went in search of drinks while Cullen rummaged through drawers and cupboards in Tim's office. He had three places he kept his stash. Cullen found them tucked between the arms of an empty folder marked tax exemptions for J76 1998. They weren't even open yet.

"Sorry, Tim. I'll replace them," he grinned to the empty room, ripping the packet open and pulling out the top biscuit with his teeth. He rested against the desk, snatching up another.

He was four down by the time Sebastian returned, kicking the door shut behind himself.

He had apparently been accosted on his way, while his hands were full. There was tinsel draped over his shoulders, lipstick kisses on his cheeks, and a wonkily placed headband on his head, from which hung plastic, glittery mistletoe.

"How's it going down there?" Cullen tried to ask with a straight face.

"Mm. Lively."

They laughed, and Cullen took the drinks, putting them down on the desk before pinging the mistletoe. "Something you wanted to ask?"

"Yeah. Any biscuits left?”

He stepped closer, hand on Cullen's cheek, thumb brushing crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

Cullen, afterwards, told himself he'd misread the sign. The touch. Then he blamed the alcohol.

But the truth was, the touch had pushed down that last barrier the was trying to hold up against the pure fact that he loved Sebastian. Loved him more than the man could ever truly know or appreciate.

And he'd also, later, tried to ignore the way Sebastian had responded as he leant in and kissed him. For a moment he was still, their lips touching. Then Cullen kissed him again and felt those lips part, let his tongue roll over them, Sebastian's hand still on his cheek, his own holding the man close.

"No. No I-" Sebastian had pushed himself away, hand out to keep Cullen at bay, head turned to the door unable to look at him.

And then he bolted. 


	3. The Kiss of Christmas Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What. Another kiss? In the present?

20th December 2018

Sebastian couldn't help keeping an eye on Cullen, even as other regional managers tried to get his attention, employees tried to buddy up to him, drunk, and he had to try to keep anyone from damaging the building. They'd lost three printers, a radiator, countless bins and a smashed window in just the last three years. But it all seemed to fade into the background as he searched for his friend and assessed his comfort. The man knew how to smile and shrug his cares away, outwardly. But the minute he thought all eyes were off him, his face would drop and his shoulders tense. He seemed to be doing alright tonight.

At least until the smoke machine.

The DJ was shouting and people laughing and dancing as it filled the atrium. But it became too thick to see even a foot in front and Sebastian, without even bidding his company goodbye, pushed through the bodies in the smoke to where he'd last seen Cullen.

He was gone.

Moving up the wall towards the exit, he caught up quickly and took Cullen by the arm and into the hallway. As the doors shut, it dulled the music and laughter and the air was cooler. 

"I'm fine," Cullen grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Sebastian didn't speak. Didn't have to. He levelled Cullen with a long, determined look, but felt himself crumble at the sudden broken expression of the man in front of him.

"Christ, Seb, I'm fine. You're just..... You make it worse if you think about it, you know?"

"I told them I didn't like the idea of a smoke machine," Sebastian growled. "I'm going to go-"

Cullen grabbed his arm. "They're having fun. Let them. Relax. Please? If you relax, I can relax, okay?"

Sebastian hesitated a moment before relented and nodding. "Go find Tim's biscuit stash. I'll be back with drinks."

Laughing, Cullen let go of his arm. "We starting a tradition with this, then?"

The thought made Sebastian's chest swell with warmth. "I'd like that."

The thought of more years with his friend, the joy of having him back after the mess of last Christmas.

And something else. Something he really needed that drink to help him with.

The atrium was still lost behind the smoke machine, the occasional limb flinging out as its owner danced away. He skirted round it, apologising to anyone trying to stop him for a chat, and ordered three shots at the bar and two beers. He downed a shot for himself. And then decided Cullen probably didn't want shots and downed the other two before heading back out to Tim’s Biscuit Grotto and his waiting friend.

When he reached it, Cullen was stood on a chair and had his head in a ceiling panel, rooting around. "Malted milks? Joke's on you, Tim, " he was muttering, "I love malted milks."

Seb, watched as Cullen climbed down, his sleeves rolled up and his hair a little dishevelled.

"Everything alright?"

Cullen looked up and grinned. "Sneaky bastard’s got decoys." He gestured to the desk with its discount selection. "But I'm going to find the good stuff. Just gimme a minute...."

"Uh, how about you just... Have a drink. Don't worry about the hobnobs."

"No," Cullen said firmly, "It's our new tradition..." He was looking over the shelves, feeling for secret hiding places. 

"What about a different one?"

"Like what?" Cullen asked, looking up. 

Sebastian was stood in front of him, heart beating so fast it felt like it wasn't beating at all. In his hand, above their heads, he held mistletoe.

If Sebastian was honest, he figured he'd rely on Cullen to make the move and kiss him, but the man stared at him, wide eyed and confused so, closing his eyes, Sebastian leant in. They bumped noses, but the moment their lips touched, Cullen wrapped his arms around him and kissed him, softly at first, uncertainly. But the feel of Sebastian's arms around his shoulders seemed to spur him on and the kiss became hungry and demanding. Laughing, Sebastian pulled back a little, staying in Cullen's embrace.

He'd thought about this non stop since September. How miserable he'd been since their first kiss, trying to deny just how much he wanted it. Haunted by his experience with women and the times he'd let himself slip. Looked at another man. Looked at Cullen. Fear had driven him away and kept him there. But Cullen brought him back. His bravery and decency and, frankly, his smile. Seeing it that September, it had been too much to deny how starved he was of it. 

"I'm going to need a little patience. But I can't bear the thought of losing you again and... Missing my chance.”

"Alright," Cullen, nodded, still dazed. "Yeah." He grinned and Sebastian was certain his eyes were a little shinier than they had been.

"So. Better than a hobnob tradition?"

Cullen, looking away, shrugged. "It'll do, I guess.”

With a frown, Sebastian elbowed him and added ”a little less of the teasing” to his request. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So malted milks are a biscuit and they're overlooked but they're amazing and, frankly, on par with chocolate hobnobs. Hate comments will be deleted.
> 
> I'm joking. Fucking bring it.


	4. The Kiss of Christmas Future

20th December 2020

The twentieth had rolled around again, but this time it was completely different. This time there was no Biscuit Grotto at work. No free bar. No Sebastian. 

Cullen had quit his job, a great feat in itself, leaving Sebastian behind to the corporate world while he went to change the world. In a small, way at least. 

It meant a lot of time away from Sebastian, just as they'd gotten used to having one another around so often. Leaving work meant less time together but Sebastian certainly found it less awkward, he'd hated having a work romance. With every up there was a down. And then they started sending Cullen all over the country. He missed Sebastian more than ever. And Sebastian became insecure and jealous. 

At the point of breaking…. Queen Mab entered their lives. Hawke had rescued her from a shelter, where she was awaiting death, scruffy, afraid, and unwanted. Of course, Hawke didn't have time. No, so he left the sob story and the sorry looking mutt with Sebastian since “Hey, you and Cullen practically live together, you'll be fine”. 

So that's what they did. Cullen moved in, Queen Mab grew into her new name, spoiled by her new family. Everything seemed to slot into place, only occasionally rocked by work demands and self doubts. And the fear that Cullen wouldn't make it back for their anniversary. At 11:45 it was definitely cutting it close. He sat on a park bench, in the cold and the wet, and waited. 

He heard her before he saw her, as was usually the case. 

“Mabby, babby!” he grinned, his four legged mass of fur running at him, crashing into his legs before jumping up to lick him, wearing a mistletoe headband. “Yes, baby girl, I love you too, yes I do. Where's that daddy of yours…?”

He tilted his head and tried to keep her still. There was something on the mistletoe. Taking the headband, he didn't notice Sebastian approach, but when he did, the man was on one knee, smiling nervously. 

He looked at the headband again. At the gold ring tied to it. 

“I know there's five in the song, but I figured we just needed two?”

Cullen dropped to his knees, level with Sebastian, and launched himself at him, Queen Mab barking and dancing around them as they kissed between laughs.

“So that's a yes?”

“Absolutely yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait.... Wasn't there only supposed to be 4 chapters? What's going on.... Now there's 5.....


	5. A long way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, lovely.

20th December 2022

Deep breath. 

He looked up at the church. To say Sebastian had a romantic, sentimental streak was an understatement. The last time he'd been here was September 2018, trying to make amends with Sebastian after nine months of fear and hate and uncertainty and anger. And misunderstandings, about themselves and each other. 

As the limo pulled up, Mia and Rosalie were waiting with Mab and his nieces and nephews. They were all in the same deep blue with tartan accents. He recognised the tartan as the Vael family's, and suddenly felt his eyes sting. Sebastian's family was gone now and Cullen and his siblings were orphans themselves. But as of today they were all going to be family.

“You ready?” Rylen asked. 

“As I'll ever be,” he breathed. “Let's do this.”

Rylen laughed and opened the door. “You're doing it, I'm just here to make sure you don't run away.”

As if he ever would. 

Cullen got out, Mab reaching him for the first hug before being called away by Mia, leaving Rosalie to grab a lint roller out of her bag and help Cullen de-fur. She was already crying. 

“Rosie…. It hasn't even started.”

“Shut up, I just never thought I'd see you looking this smart and tidy,” she sniffed. “I'm in shock.”

Queen Mab and the kids went first, scattering flowers down the aisle. Then Cullen and Mia, arm in arm. And Lord, he needed that arm. His knees had turned to jelly at the doors, his blood turned fizzy as he looked down the aisle. 

Sebastian was waiting for him. Jacket a matching deep blue, kilt in the matching tartan. Looking scared, and hopeful, and determined, even from that distance. 

Mia squeezed her bother’s trembling hand and started him off down that never ending gap between pews. Between the on looking guests. But all he could see was Sebastian. 

Rosalie and Rylen followed behind and then, suddenly, he was at the front and they all abandoned him to his Fiancé. 

“You look amazing,” Cullen gulped. 

Sebastian opened his mouth to speak, eyes a little wet, and changed his mind, nodding, giving a chuckle. 

Sebastian had arranged the whole wedding, leaving Cullen in charge of the honeymoon. And the bar was already impossibly high. Cullen hoped his plans would be as impressive as this. 

The ceremony was as traditional as Sebastian could arrange, and it must have taken some arranging for them to let Mab in. Of course, most of it went over Cullen's head, his focus on just staying upright, on glancing at Sebastian making sure he was still there, still real. And then came the vows. 

“It's habit to thank God for all good things in my life. But I'm not quite as stubborn as I was…. The ideas of God I was led to follow almost got in the way of this. I owe my every happiness to you and you alone. I promise to be there every happy step of the way, every difficult stumble, every moment we're given.”

Cullen was doing OK. But Rosalie’s sniffs set him off a little, and he swore, wiping away a tear. Sebastian gave him a sharp jab with his elbow and there was a ripple of laughter. 

“I promise to love you as much as I am able. And then more. I love you more than the clearest night sky and I will guide you and be guided by you. And I'll try really hard not to swear in church again.”

More laughter, more sniffs, more words from the priest. And then-

“I now pronounce you partners in law, you may now kiss-”

“Oh!” Sebastian half turned to Hawke who shot forward and handed him something. When he turned back to Cullen, he was holding mistletoe. 

“Definitely a better tradition than hobnobs,” Cullen grinned, taking Sebastian's face in his hands and kissing him. 

There was cheering, confetti, photos, more alcohol, and the limo to the venue. They were alone. They had a privacy divider. And Cullen had an important question. 

“So. True scot?” He waggled his eyebrows and nodded to the kilt.

“You'll see in time.”

Cullen glanced at the divider and argued it would be rude not to take advantage. 

He left the limo with his hair a little messier than it had been and an answer to his question. He was definitely making Sebastian wear kilts more often. 

*

“She's going to be fine,” Cullen said, rubbing his husband's shoulder. “I promise.”

“It's alright for you,” he snapped, voice thick with emotion. “You're always leaving her. She relies on me.”

Cullen tugged Sebastian to his feet after saying their final goodbyes to Queen Mab, then the rest of their family and friends. 

They'd been up from 6am, drinking, worrying, drinking, marrying, drinking, celebrating, drinking, and now was time to travel. Cullen was determined to wake up with his Husband on their honeymoon, away from their responsibilities and anything else that dared interfere. On the plane they took the opportunity to drink tea, water, eat, sober up as much as they could.

“Finland, though?” Sebastian said. 

“Finland,” Cullen confirmed. “Just go with it.”

And he did. The taxi took them to the hotel, and then a bellboy to their suite. 

“Woah.”

Cullen grinned. “Right? Jacuzzi bath, minibar, king size bed.”

Sebastian took the room in, nodding. “Speaking of bed though,” he yawned. 

Laughing, Cullen pointed to one of the doors and followed Sebastian through. 

“It's nearly midnight.”

He didn't have to see Sebastian's face to know the smile he wore. He stepped closer, up behind him, kissed his neck, a hand slowly pulling up the kilt. 

They hadn't waited for marriage exactly. Not completely. There was plenty they did, but Sebastian had wanted to save something for tonight. And Cullen was hoping to claim.

“I want you, Mr Ruthervael, to fuck me.”

Sebastian gasped and leant back against him. “It's Mr Vaelford.”

Cullen shoved him forward and slapped his ass, the two of them laughing, then kissing then fumbling. 

“Keep the kilt on,” Cullen murmured against Sebastian's mouth. 

*

The next morning, Cullen woke to big blue eyes watching him. They creased at the edges with a smile. 

“Morning, Mr Vael-Rutherford.”

“Morning, Mr Rutherford-Vael.”

Grinning at one another, they scooted closer and kissed, breaths thick and full with the morning, but neither caring. 

“What are the plans today?” asked Cullen's control freak husband. He'd been pestered non stop about planning each and every moment of each and every day and he'd come through. 

“Breakfast in bed and this….” He sat up and found the remote, checking the buttons before pressing one. The blinds opened revealing an entire glass wall at the foot of the bed, beyond it, snow covered trees and mountains, not a soul in sight. 

Sebastian was slowly sitting up, jaw dropped, taking in the view. And as amazing as it was, it was nothing compared to the man by his side.

"Welcome to Lapland. Merry Christmas."


End file.
